She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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