I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Randomize
