How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
it's great music for shaving your balls
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
