it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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