vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
