I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Randomize
