yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
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