So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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