I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Randomize
