How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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