i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
