Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
