I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
