Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize
