I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize
