dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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