Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
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