im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
