Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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