People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
