Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
My cat gives me a boner
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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