$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
