Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
