I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
sarcasm needs its own font
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
