How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
