Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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