I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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