she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
