very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
