A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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