need another drink. this is the easiest way
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
