Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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