dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
