We're facebook friends in real life
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I have post one night stand depression
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