But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i just wanna soil my oats bro
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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