Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
