I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
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