I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
