dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
