if i can run in heels then i can drive
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
