Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
