She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
whose ass print is on the piano?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Randomize
