everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
