i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
