Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
40s are totally the cure
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
