Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize
