Tell her she can't have a vagina
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Michael Bay diarrhea
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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