Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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