All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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