the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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