Whod you bang
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Randomize
