wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
