did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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